Things that have been irrationally annoying me this week.

Hello gang. It’s me again. I’m not really sure what’s going on with me but it’s like I’ve fallen hook, line and sinker for posting as many times as possible on here. I mean there’s worse things I could have become obsessed with; I just hope my incessant typing/need for all your approval and attention isn’t getting on your nerves haha.

January is legit the longest month of the year. Financially and emotionally speaking of course, it genuinely feels like New Year’s Day was about 3 months ago. Don’t get me wrong it’s been quite a good month for me, I’ve been trying much harder with my blog and smashed my goal for this month as well as beating the amount of pageviews I had for the previous two Januarys. So I’m buzzing with that! With that said, I think as much as I like to keep my blog and my social media’s a relatively upbeat, positive place. That being said I want to take this opportunity, on the eve of brexit, to have a real ranty post. I’ve done a few posts now on listing various weird and wonderful things that make me quite happy so I thought I’d do a similar little same, same but different vibe and have a written moany rant instead.

Should I officially change my name to Simone seeing how much I enjoy a good moan and a whinge?

  • People who ask for your advice then proceed to keep asking you for your advice until you tell them what they want to hear.

This really rattles me cage. I don’t mind this a couple times y’know we all kinda just want to hear what we actually want to hear. It’s nice to feel justified in our feelings and that someone agrees with you. But let’s be real sometimes you need someone to be honest and upfront with you; whether you want to hear that or not.

  • The price of a cocktail.

Look, I like a cocktail as much as the next basic hun but why are they all so expensive? All I want is a pretty drink but why do I have to spend £15 on two sips?

  • People who don’t wave up at crossings or in their car when I let them pass. 

This is not Abbey Road and you are not The Beatles. A simple wave, a hand up, a flick of the wrist.

  • The Weather.

spoken like a true brit.

  • Dumb life quotes you see adorned on mugs or as a wall art decal on the living room wall of the girl that used to bully you at school. 

I’m talking about the ‘live,laugh,love’ people or my LEAST favourite proclaiming I’ve got the same amount of hours in a day as beyonce <<<<3333. Yes we may have the same amount of time in a day, Sharon, If anything, thanks to daylight savings time I might have a fraction more BUT I DO NOT HAVE BEYONCE’S RESOURCES. What type of dumbass thing to live by. Y’know who’s also got the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce? Charles Manson and so does Donald Trump and so do I. So what point are we trying to prove here?

  • ASMR vids

They’re just not for me. Noisy eating makes me want to vom I don’t wanna hear that even more intensely in my earphones.

  • Business jargon

This. Frys. My. BRAIN. I cannot deal with these silly little phrases that bosses and any form of management use to feel a bit more important excuse me whilst I go ‘cascade my thoughts back down to the lower management team’ someone pls hold my hair back whilst I vom.

  • Cardamom pods

I’m sorry I just don’t like them. It brings me immense sadness when I chomp into one mid indian takeaway.

  • Brexit

As of writing this the United Kingdom has left the United Kingdom and tbh everything to do with BrExIt MeAnS bReXiT has done my head in for the last four years. I’m really hoping and praying that this monumental decision will work out okay for those it’ll affect the most and those generations to come.

  • Coronavirus

I’m trying my best not to freak out about this. I’m anxious at the best of times and I’m trying to figure out whether I actually need a reason to panic about something else. I’m not sure how much of this information I’m reading about is genuine and how much is scaremongering. I’m like is this cold I’ve got the same cold I haven’t been able to shift since Christmas or is it gen Coronavirus?????

  • When you’re telling a story and then realise no one is ACTUALLY listening…

STORY OF MY LIFE. Is there anything more eye-roll worthy than when you realise that you’re speaking about something and no one is actually listening. You try to be that despo person and make eye contact with someone to garner some attention but alas to no avail. Urgh.

  • Other drivers

I like driving but I don’t like many other drivers. Slow drivers always seem to be out in full force especially when you’re already running late (do they know srsly??) fast drivers that are literally right up your butt as you’re driving the speed limit. Drivers that don’t indicate. Drivers that indicate for ages so you have no clue where they’re off too. Want me to go on?

  • Accidental social media liking

Y’know when you’re mid stalk on someone’s Insta profile and aaaaaaaaaaaaccidentally double tap on something and whoops that big red heart appears on the picture and you can feel your belly DROP. Yeah that feeling. There’s only pictures so far back on someone’s grid you can try to blame that on Instagram’s shoddy algorithm.

  • People FaceTiming in public

Live your life, do what you wanna do, it’s a free country but it freaks me out when I’m sat in Bath City Centre happily munching on my 3rd sausage roll on a lunch break when someone sat on the bench next to me gets me in shot as they’re having a video call with their grandma.

  • Smelly food on public transport

Smelly food in office spaces also applies too. Sorry but it’s dead rude to pull out your durian smoothie and your sushi on an already hot, cramped train carriage.

  • Clothes shopping

At the moment this is something that is proper irking me. Lately everything I’ve liked hasn’t looked at all like the image I saw on screen. Shopping in a clothes store gives me the fear as it’s usually so hot and stuffy, busy and every collar has a smudged foundation stain.

  • Katie Hopkins

No explanation needed but she can get in the bin can’t she?

  • People who complain about l i t e r a l l y anything. 

You’ll find these people front and centre of any customers service desk in any shop around the world. They’ll be loud and proud on your local town’s Facebook page annoyed that the local Kebab shop has changed the brand of ketchup and it’s an absolute outrage. Get a life Janice.

  • Hangovers

JEEEESUS. I know when people said that hangovers get worse as you get older but I’ve just turned 25 and felt like death for a few days. Honestly I would welcome intense dental surgery over the after effects of a few tipples now.

  • When you see your online order is coming with a super unreliable company

Is there anything more annoying than seeing your exciting internet present is being delivered by African land snails in 3-5000 business days.

  • Jim Davidson

 

  • When you’re tired but you can’t sleep

Is there anything more annoying than when you’re laying there literally counting down the hours of the amount of sleep you’ll get and the amount is getting less and less. 

  • Applying for jobs and never hearing anything back

The job hunt is a job in itself. From polishing up your CV to scouring your local area and the web for any form of employment. So please don’t be rude and ignore someone’s efforts. A simple round robin email is suffice enough to let someone know you won’t be taking their application any further.

Aight, so that’s that for now. Before I think myself, and you lovely lot, into a proper bad mood. But before that please do indulge me in what annoys you more than anythingggggg.

How to apply false eyelashes*

 

*This post contains gifted items*

Ever since I was young I’ve loved anything to do with makeup, beauty items and skincare. I distinctly remember playing with my Mum’s makeup when I was little, thinking it was all so cool, all these different bits, these lotions and potions and how you could just dab this here, rub that in there and transform the way you look into a movie star. I love being able to experiment with what I wear, the style I carry and the way I  look with a bit of makeup. I see it as so much more than just a thick layer of war paint, a protective coat of armour to make me feel a bit more confident, something to enhance the way I look but also as a way of self expression. I view my face and my skin as a blank canvas and I’m free to decorate it how I see fit. Whether I want a permanent tattoo, semi permanent piercings, hair dyes or a bold statement eye look it’ll reflect me and my personality and I’m so happy changing it as I see fit.

I was recently contacted by Jenny from falseeyelashes.co.uk and she kindly offered to gift me some false eyelashes to share on my blog/social media channels and to show off the fab looks I’ll be creating and the side eye I’ll be serving with these new little beauties. I will admit, I don’t wear false lashes very often; but when I do it’s always for a special occasion or a big night out where I want to be looking my absolute best.

Falseeyelashes.co.uk is a site solely dedicated to all things falsies! Whether you’re looking for something natural and understated, something big, bold and fluttery, faux mink lashes, vegan and cruelty free, something budget friendly or something a bit pricier they’ve got every person, every style and every purse point covered with thousands upon thousands of different brands and styles. If that’s not enough to tickle your pickle they also have an amazing lash subscription service (something I’d never heard of before and think is amazing!) so if you’re totally obsessed with one particular style of lash so all you need to do is simply hit the subscribe button when you purchase and choose whether you want them popping through your letterbox every 2 weeks, every month or every 2 months!

false eyelashes flat lay pic

If you’re new to the false eyelash game and really want to give it a try I want to use this post to share with you some simple, easy ways to learn to get to grips with false lashes and to be able to create fab looks with falsies…and without running the risk of glueing your eye shut or for the lash to fall off mid date! I swear these types of ‘horror’ stories were so common in girly teenage magazines when I was younger; it reeeeaally put me off using them before going to the school disco in case I’d be the one, writing into Mizz Magazine the following week because I, too, was gathered around the hand dryer trying to pry my eyes open.

  • So first and foremost, my advice to lash newbies, or to anyone attempting anything for the first time but this is a bit besides the point right now, is to start off slowly. If you try something for the first time and do it a bit rushed it’s only natural it’s going to be a bit sloppy?!

 

  • Try to take care when taking your false lashes out of it’s packaging. They usually come stuck to a little plastic tray and the best way to remove them without altering their lash line shape is by taking a pair of tweezers (or an eyelash applicator tool) and slowly, gently pulling from the corner to release them.

 

  • Before you put any glue or adhesive on them make sure they are the right size for your eye shape. The simplest way to do this is by simply holding a false eyelash against your natural eyelashes and trim from the outer end.

 

  • Apply the glue/adhesive in a thin layer on the seam of the eyelash strip, leaving it for a few moments to dry and go a bit tacky to the touch.

 

  • Either with a steady hand or tweezers/eyelash applicator gently place your falsies as close to your natural lash line as you possibly can.

 

  • It’s easier to do this if you can position yourself so your hand and the lash is coming down from above rather than directly straight on. This’ll make it a bit easier to apply, to get it in place a bit easier and to give you a bit more control over it.

 

  • Using the tweezers/eyelash applicator to gentle press the lashes into the right place to make sure it lines up,  looks neat and more natural.

 

  • Leave the lashes alone for a few minutes to dry and set in place.

 

  • Once the lashes have set you can then apply mascara on top if needed to make them look a bit more natural. Similarly, using a quick flick of eyeliner on the upper eyelid will help to fill in any obvious gaps from the lashes and give you a fancy, feline look.

 

  • Most false lashes will last nearly all day if not longer but when it comes to removing them it’s just as easy to take them off as it was to put them on. Gently apply some makeup remover/cleanser/coconut oil to a cotton bud, cotton pad or just to your fingertips and gentle massage in. Leaving it for about 30 seconds for the remover to soak in and gently pull the lashes from the outer edge.

 

  • Make sure to check on the packaging of your falsies and what they’re made out of because most sets can be reused plenty of times and you’d want to get your worth from it!