*This is a collaborative post*
As I’m writing this I’m now a fully fledged member of the 25 club. I spent my birthday (and my mum’s…We have the same birthday!) in Bristol and being thoroughly spoiled it was a lovely way to enter into a new year for me. As I reflected on in my previous post, I don’t want to sound depressing or bring the mood down of this post but I’ve been thinking about death a little bit over the last few weeks. As we get older, we mature into ourselves and into a happier version of you, you might start to become a bit more aware of your own mortality.
Nobody likes the idea of getting older and we all have those days where we would like to cover up that wrinkle or stress out about that one grey hair (which nobody can actually see or takes any notice of!), but dealing with getting older is something that we’ve all got to contend with. So many people decide to fight the signs of ageing and we’ve all got one of those friends that refuse to age beyond 24 (guilty!) despite what their driving licence says! But what can you do to ensure that you get older with grace and style?
Confronting Those Horrible Realities Head-On
We can only bury our head in the sand for so long. For so many people getting older can mean getting sicker. But when we see stories of people that have have a majorly traumatic incident or they go through something horrible like cancer or alopecia at such a young age, why don’t we look to those people for inspiration? Some people go through a traumatic incident so young in life and it completely revamps their perspective. It’s important to remember that when we go through something incredibly traumatic, especially with something like a medical condition, but there’s ways and means for us to develop a coping strategy, but there’s also medical help. There is hair loss treatment online, as well as support groups, and even if you feel that you are someone who is experiencing a very unique problem that none of your friends is going through, there is no need to look upon this as a negative thing. When we are younger we don’t tend to embrace our uniqueness but as we get older we can realise that this is a positive.
There are still some people that believe getting older is about getting weaker and slowly resigning yourself to the stockpile of life. As we get older, we soon start to put things into perspective. While there’s a lot to be said for the importance of saving money or preparing for the future it seems that so many of us just don’t enjoy ourselves now. We live to work rather than the other way round. And it’s not a difficult thing, enjoying yourself, but it seems that there’s plenty of things out there are trying to stifle our enjoyment. Enjoying yourself isn’t difficult and, believe it or not, you don’t need to have loads of money. And besides, when you’ve got friends that go on protests and are forever worrying about the state of the country after Brexit or those that are fighting the good fight, this is a great thing but at what point do they have the opportunity to enjoy themselves? We all need passions and we all have things we believe in but at the same time, if we completely focus our efforts on the stressful and anxiety-inducing components of life where is the room for fun?
Spend Time With The People You Love
The people you keep company with says a lot about who you are. When we start to look at life in technicolour rather than black and white and we realise that there are people in our lives that are toxic or bring us down or just feel they’ve got to twist the knife in somewhere, are these people are incredibly frustrating to be around. The solution? Rather than breeding your own frustrations by hanging around these people, keep good company and be with people that are engaging or exhilarating. From a sociological perspective, we can fit a certain category. And when we are unhappy that we are in a group of friends that we feel like the butt of the jokes or we are the “quirky one,” these little thoughts can soon develop into full-blown anxieties. Put simply, the people you hang around with can be incredibly toxic for your emotions. Do yourself a favour and be with people that you know will improve your life.
Life Is A Learning Lesson
While we spend time with people that aren’t good for us, we shouldn’t spend a long time regretting those decisions. After all, we are people that learn how to be better versions of ourselves. And life is one of those things that we are entitled to make mistakes in. The great thing about life is that we make errors and that we learn from them. As we get older we may believe that we shouldn’t make too many errors or we’ve been holding onto too many regrets. Getting older is a sign that we are making the most of our mistakes and are beginning to turn them into something that benefits us. There’s no such thing as a mistake as long as you learn from it.
Think About What You Want, Not What Everybody Else Wants
We can all suffer from being a “people pleaser.” These people feel that in order for themselves to be happy they’ve got to cater for everyone else. When you start to figure out what you would like in life and there are people that aren’t particularly receptive to what you want to do, should you continue to be with these people? Start to think about what you want rather than what everybody else wants and there will be conflict. The big problem is that people please don’t like conflict. But like they say “if everybody likes you, you are doing something wrong.” Start to think about what you would like, focus on your dreams, and you will begin to make life work for you on your own terms. Arguably, this is the key to getting older in a healthy way. One of the biggest regrets of those at the end of their life is that they didn’t trust their instincts and did what they wanted. Let’s learn from these people.
Dealing with getting older is something we’ve all got to come round to, whether we just noticed a grey hair or we’ve suffered a traumatic incident in life. Getting older doesn’t mean deterioration.